Posted by on December 30, 2011 in Butoh Blog, momobutoh dance company | 0 comments


I take sancturary in silence.

I savor those times when I can just be submerged in it. Last night was one of those moments. This deep silence came over me as I lay in bed and stayed with me for several hours. It was early AM and I had just gotten off work. I work in a very loud and high volume establishment so it has become much less frequent that I get to sit in deep quietude. I mean absolute hush. No cars, no wind, no voices, nothing. The kind of silence that you can only get in deep places, like underwater or in the grave. For the first hour or so, I just bathed in it and listened to what it had to say.
I highly value silence. It is a universal language. I value the times I spend in silence with others. Its a rare and special treat for me. Many people get very uncomfortable when sharing in silence with others.
When I can sit and have a silent conversation with someone, I know I am sitting with a true friend.

Once at the heart of this silent place, when quiet becomes so much more than quiet, everything melts away. I am set apart from all the static and bullshit in life, if only briefly. Its the eye of the storm. There is a hum here not heard with the ears and it resonates behind everything. It is the creative pulse. The germination grounds. The womb of all life. The fountainhead. Here, silence becomes an experience, and not just the absence of sound. It takes on a deep presence. It is a visitation. Silence is a good friend and teacher and healer. It is a place where one can explore and cultivate the soul and bring forth your own authentic goods.


After some time of just lying there, I started to think about how I might move silence. Dance it. How do I move stillness? I always get stuck on this question, “How do I move ___?” When I think about it that way, I have a hard time moving. That’s not the way it works for me. When I dance, an image for example, I don’t feel fluent if I am trying to mentally fabricate and interpret that image. I feel blocked, and a little awkward. If I am going to move something, I need to stop trying to be in control. I let the image move me. I let it enter my body and dance me. I let my body interpret the image. Sometimes that image or whatever is moving me, will take me places. Other worlds. Sometimes other people move through me and tell me their stories. People from another time. Spirits. Ghosts? I don’t know. When in this hearth of stillness, I feel as if my body is a conduit. Music, movement, words, stories, information all pass through and I go to my sancturary to receive these gifts from my soul. So maybe stillness is a movement in itself. Just as silence can be such a sweet sweet music to my ears.


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